ahh tommorrow is halloween, everyone is thursdaying it up out there. It's a bit scary.
so apprently i can just write in fonts now but this is a google font i dont know about adobe ones.
This is October
10/30
I think day 5. fuck im so tired rn the clonidine hitting. so im thinking a domain for this shit its gona be..
I love smokedope2016 <3
Day 1
No social medias
i dont want to ignore you. but am i? ignoreing you if you dont even do anything.
11/04
Today i went to the store.
today i scaratched my ass.
then i picked some boogers.
then i did a little dance.
then i farted.
then i killed someone.
.......
Boredom
The amount of content we have available to us now is crazy
Boredom is the path to creativity
Less is more
limitation is powerful
We don’t get to be bored anymore.
Opportunity to get bored. this thing dosent let u get bored and ur like bullshit. But when ur in a public room where u don’t feel comfortable pulling out ur phone and u have a paper, u draw. And it feels amazing. Stare at a wall.
My hobbies?
Stare at a wall
Brain is fried.
What’s its called? luddite, anyone who is resistant to new technology
Luddite club.
luddite= Against the abuse of technology.
Luddism
according to Amanda hanna mcleer
10/24 I cancelled all my meetings for today
well the night before. my therapy, my coding meeting. bc tbh I think I'm depressed.
oh really yoli? U think ur depressed ███████ yourself and lacking self care u think?
Not being able to get anything done, relapsing.
I wish I went to therapy today, I probably wouldn't have hurt myself today. I thought I was late to work, my timing is off, everything off, more than usually.
Feels like I ran to work, ran to ███████, ran to satfey away from myself bc I just ███ before I left, i was an hr early when I thought I was 15 mins late. when I'm here I feel safe and better.
I can't believe I let myself ruin the peace in my room, once again I always do this, i make a harmful place for myself. I can't be alone. Just like a my old job stuck in a room all day all alone w pass byers that never stay.
I plan on fishing after work I was gona bring my weed but nah too much work and was already late
I think its been a week where I couldn't be 2 days sober
U can barrly tell. But its gona keep getting worse.
Walk down eastland
I want to offer u a job. Ill pay u so u dont have to work illpay u one day for you to just watch me. To babysit me as my babysitter is out of town. But I not want to impede you.
31 days with out it
the thing..
i like this i like this thing I got goin on, here on this page, just me and the wall.
i keep forgeting to close out my tab at bars
10/16 why do I feel so empty after
coming back to my own bed at 1pm. it's like returning from after the beach. you can still feel the waves. Man that was agaonzing bc u can't have it all the time. and i wish i could. It was good.
Is it me? Is it ███? but the lack of true thoughts being shared made me feel empty. and some how i feel its my fault i did too much. but im bad at communicating.
Do I deserve more? But I hatemyself so ? Why does it matter. its fine.